I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Will exercising make me less horny?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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