the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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