doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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