Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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