You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
