Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
