It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
