The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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