too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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