I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
