Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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