shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
