I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
