wakey wakey hands off snakey
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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