After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can I color on your dick again?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize