no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
