How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
