on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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