He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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