Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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