dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
