her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
