i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
did i just pee glitter
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