I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
