I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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