whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
