How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
