Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
home. puking in laundry basket.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
