just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
