I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize