This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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