We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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