I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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