i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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