I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
