I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
