So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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