Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
