just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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