ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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