if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
