Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
