But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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