you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
