I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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