Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
