I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
