3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
