But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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