I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
