she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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