In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish I only lived at night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
