sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
