Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize