Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
