My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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