On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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