Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
