Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
