I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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