So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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