Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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