It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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