Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
