my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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