So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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