I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
