I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Swine flu. Run for my life!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
