I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
