If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize