his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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