I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
