u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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