Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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