"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't deserve a penis
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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