theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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