Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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