I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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