who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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