"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
